Well, the day started off innocently enough. I was be-bopping around some new territory. In fact, I noticed I was close to one of the newbie Desert towns. So close, that I can see one of those weird towers that are at all the newbie towns. I decide to take a closer look. When I get close enough, I see a pink dot showing up on my radar! Pink dot? Was this a new monster? I quickly whip out the Froder’s guide to Dereth and read:
“Pink Dots on your radar indicate Advocates, which can be found on all the worlds (except Darktide) to help newcomers to the world.”
An Advocate? On Darktide? Well, I know my faithful readers would want to read about this! So I proceed, of course on my guard, buffed and arrow knocked, when what do I see?
It gets stranger! This wacky guy then begins to address me in quite an unusual manner:
Can this guy possibly be for real, or did he get a bad mushroom from a Drudge?
I have been dismissed! And we all now how well I deal with being disrespected…
I can’t believe the rubbish coming out of this arrogant foolio’s mouth… 
Of course, while he’s thus distracted by my engaging conversation, I wander around….behind him.
Well, well, looky here! Someone left a perfectly good Aegis lying around! Wonder how it would look on me? 
Pretty damn good, if I do say so myself!
I wasn’t gonna hang around and give dingleberry a shot at getting this thing back. After all, we all know that I really do suck, and wouldn’t stand a fair chance in a fight. So I lead my little charge off through a convenient portal.
Once there, I decide an IQ test is in order. 
And Joe failed miserably, I’m sorry to say. It looks like it’s up to me to once again purge the gene pool of Dereth…
Did I mention I never had a good dagger?
You do see what’s coming next, don’t you?
Yes, do not fear my friends! I have a new job! Wherever there are newbies to the land of Dereth, in need of guidance, I shall be there, to help them! Or murder them mercilessly, depending on the results of their IQ test…
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