Wheeeee! Okay, take a break from your flame wars, and listen to this fun tale: I actually have no vitae!
No, I couldn’t believe it myself, either. But it was true: I had broken down that great barrier. The normally heavy burden weighing me down was gone! My arrows flew truer, finding their mark more accurately, drawing deeper wounds, and generally really pissing stuff off a great deal. But did it matter? Hardly! I was a non-vitae-carrying animal! I could do anything!
You say, “Shirov Thiguz”
Your spell fizzles.
You burn the following components: Violet Taper, Rowan talisman, all of your Powdered Malachite, all the Powdered Malachite at the Mage shop, your pants, your entire collection of the Sho Men’s Chorus Sing the Classics, and your bow, just for good measure.
You say, “Dammit! Massle-fraggin dam-blasted fahrfegnuggin sumbichbastich fargin icehole!”
I just can’t figure out how to recall to my lifestone to…well, to save my life.
Death says, “Oh! I’ll get you back to your lifestone!”
You say, “Hush!”
I mean, is there some little secret thingy I’m missing? I ask my friends, but that never goes well…
You tell Phillip Ian, “Hey, what’s the formula for Lifestone Recall?”
Phillip Ian tells you, “Kwip + Ash Gromnie”
You tell Phillip Ian, “Bastard”
Some people’s friends. I’m insanely jealous of Phil, ’cause he killed our old friend Cunning Linguist. Twice. Heh. Just thinking about that gives me a warm feeling in my tummy…
On a more fun note, I actually got that Portal Recall thing down. Now I can come back and visit Uziz!
You say, “Shirov Thiloi”
You say, “Ah, Uziz! Good to be back!”
A Noid says, “Hey Kwip. You lookin for a patron?”
Groan….
I have been meeting some great people lately, though. Ygol the Destroyer, Mmneoch Blood, Slinging Blade, Blade Storm, and several others have all helped me out on my little runabouts. But finally, after living so long with so much vitae, it was so much fun to actually be competent…
Ash Gromnie says, “Please tell me that’s not Kwip coming towards us.”
Other Ash Gromnie says, “Nah, can’t be. That guy’s actually moving at a normal speed.”
Ash Gromnie says, “Well, no matter. Let’s toast ’em. Ash Gromnie lightning breath, activate!”
Ash Gromnie sparks you for 1 point of damage.
You say, “Ah-ha! Didn’t count on my Lightning Protection V, did you, you little bastards?”
Ash Gromnie says, “Oh, hello Kwip. No, actually, we didn’t count on that. How’s your piercing protection?”
You say, “Ermmm….”
Ash Gromnie gores you for 45 points of damage!
Other Ash Gromnie says, “Not very good, I’d suspect.”
You say, “Mommy!”
Death says, “Hiya, Kwip! Sorry to stop in like this, but you don’t call anymore.”
Sigh.
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