Here we are: a brand new millenium (yes, all you dumb bastards that celebrated a new millenium LAST year were completely wrong – don’t you feel silly now?). So what is new this millenium?
Well, for starters, I’m trying something new: defending a town. Hee. I actually managed to make the run to Ayan Baquar (mostly thanks to Kaliaa for being able to find me a portal not far from it). It was an exciting run – a great deal of screaming hysterics, threats against monsters from my lawyers, that sort of stuff.
But I get there – in one try, in fact, this is really getting scary, next I’ll be tanking Olthoi or something – and find…well, chaos. First, there are more people in this town then I’ve ever seen! It’s just flat out kooky! And to make matters worse, the town is under attack! Well, I’m never one to stand idly by during a raid. Sleep, fall off roofs, accidently attack friends – sure. But stand idly by? Never that.
Being the 3L33T warrior that I am *cough cough*, I am quickly recruited by Ancient Mage to help defend the town. Now this was really exciting – the defenders were very well organized (at least until I joined them):
Ancient Mage says to your fellowship, “We’ve got Winnie-the-Pooh coming in on the East side of town.”
Ancient Mage says to your fellowship, “He’s imp’d and cold vuln’d”
You say to your fellowship, “AAAAAAAARRRRGH, everyone to town, quick!”
Ancient Mage says to your fellowship, “Good grief, what is it Kwip? Quick, everyone form on Kwip!”
You say to your fellowship, “Look how cute I look when I try to make a spell using only talismans! I’m dancing!”
Random Defender says to your fellowship, “Okay, I’m gonna kill Kwip real quick then I’ll help defend town…”
Random Defender #2 says to your fellowship, “Oh no, I’ve got dibs. Wait your turn!”
And so on and so on. I’m not really sure if the defenders let me join them because they seriously thought I might contribute something, or just for laughs. I suppose it was a little of each; I came in handy twice:
Random Defender says to your fellowship, “Okay, Kwip, stand right here while I cast.”
You say to your fellowship, “But if I stand here, aren’t I between you and the PKs?”
Mean-Nasty-PKer melts you for 69 points of damage with Acid Stream V!
Random Defender says to your fellowship, “Exactly.”
and then there was the time:
You cast Leaden Feet Other III on Stubby!
Stubby says, “What the? KWIP landed a spell on me? ROFL! Oh, sheesh that’s so funny!”
Stubby says, “You guys have gotten desperate enough that you allow KWIP to help you? Bwah-ha-ha!!!”
Stubby falls down lauging.
At which point, everybody dog-piles him and kills him. While he’s still laughing at me, mind you.
Sigh…well, at least I served some purpose. It was amazing that there were some idiots standing in the middle of town spamming the screen with trade offers during a raid. I think these were the same people that ran out to the GI’s during WWII saying, “Hey GI, got chocolate?” only to be met with an enthusiastic flame-thrower. Sigh. The good old days…
I must say that the raiders did a great job, too. I mean, sure, we TMO’d them (hee hee), but they seemed pretty damn sharp – they’d go screaming through town, cut down some dipshit offering phat lewt for a portal to the Crater, then boogy past before the defenders could catch up with them. I don’t know if they had as much fun as the defenders, but I certainly hoped so; they earned it. Good job to both sides – see you there later. Mwuah-ha-ha!
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