Oh, for Bob’s sake…
ANOTHER Dupe bug?
Yes, this hot off the presses – some lucky bastards found out how to dupe Bandit Hilts, apparently. That’s what this whole new server downtime is about, I suppose. Rumors are flying about a rollback – I pretty much doubt it, myself, but when the hell have I been right about anything? For all I know, I’ll sign on tomorrow night and be level one at the tutorial dungeon – which wouldn’t be a great change, mind you…
I wish people would stop screaming at Turbine about bugs. Shit happens. If it was some big gaping bug that they knew about and refused to fix, well, that’s one thing – but shit like this, it’s a no-win situation, no matter what they do. No wonder Devilmouse’s socks are dirty as hell – he’s got to trudge through eight feet of shit every day on his way to work…
And all this pissing and moaning about people that exploit bugs…you know what? I don’t care. Yup; it’s unfair like a motherfucker. Nope; I wouldn’t exploit the bug if I knew about it. I’ve joked many a times with friends about doing that – but when push came to shove, I’ve never abused a bug. But if someone wants to abuse it – hey, their quarter, their ride. Yup, it unbalances this that and the other thing. But I’ve been unbalanced so friggin’ long I think Quasimodo is the most straight-walkin’ mofo I’ve ever seen…
So here’s the deal: you want to cheat (and yes, it is cheating), that’s fine. I don’t, mostly because I wouldn’t be Kwip if I didn’t suck. And sucking at things makes life interesting for me. But I’m not gonna condemn you if you do cheat – I don’t care. You’d kill me with or without the bug anyway, so what difference does it make to me?
Cool so far, right? Well, here’s the problem: DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT I’D CHEAT TOO IF I KNEW HOW. I don’t give a flying donkey ass how or why you cheat; but don’t try to justify your behavior by painting my actions with that same brush, asshole. You want to take the easy way out of something, go for it! You want to exploit a bug so you can brag to chicks that you’re a macho man in a video game, whooo-hooo, more power to you! But you’re cheating – don’t try and justify your choice to take the pussy way out of things by saying that I’d do the exact same thing. You don’t know jack about who I am or what I do (well, except that I suck, and that’s a given) – fact is, I knew about several of the cheats a long time ago – never used them, because I didn’t really care to. Playing this game to me wasn’t about getting all the shiny new toys or raping newbs or bragging of my own uberness, it was about having fun. So it yanks my chain when some asshole that can’t live with the fact that they suck and have to cheat to achieve tries to justify their behavior by saying “Oh, everyone does it…” What a crock of shit. I don’t care if it’s a cheat to change the color of your cheese or a cheat to give you perma-buffed matty robes; that shit is cheating. If you lack the spine to obtain things honestly, at least have the intestinal fortitude to admit that you cheated to get things. Truth is, I find many of those stories funny – I love hearing about exploits and people’s adventures with them. And if you use them, that doesn’t make you a bad person. BUT IF YOU LACK THE BALLS TO ADMIT THAT YOU CHEATED AND INSTEAD TRY TO LOWER THE STANDARD OF WHAT IS HONEST DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL OF ‘HONESTY,’ DO ME A FAVOR: GO FUCK YOURSELF. Man, if I could cheat, I’d be the most smack-talking foolio about it you’d ever see. But I couldn’t figure out any of the stuff, and really didn’t care about it. OOooooooh, dupe something – what? I’ve got exactly bubcus worth anything except my comp bow, and I’m not loosing that anyway.
So anyway, now that that’s over: how about that bug, huh? Ain’t that some shit? I think the very first big bug I ever heard about was Vig & Co. figured out how to get past some door or another. I dunno, I already forgot about it. Their adventures trying to get it to work were funny as hell, though. Then I heard about the dupe bug – one of my friends tried it, but said it didn’t work. Of course, the next day he showed up driving a pyreal cadillac, so we were all suspicious….
But boy oh boy, anytime a big thing like this happens, you’d think it was the end of the world! I sign in tonite, and people are pulling out their hair and wailing! I thought there was a David Hasslehoff concert nearby or something, but it turns out there is all this doom-saying about a rollback because of this latest bug. I just want to know, how the hell does someone find these things? Are people THAT friggin’ bored on the white servers that they say, “hrmmm… you know what would be fun – if I pulled out a red gem, cast blood drinker VI on it, sold it, bought it back from the merchant, muled it, put it in my next to last pack (that has to be brown), and then stuck it up my butt… I wonder what would happen? Holy cow! Permabuffs!” No wonder Turbine refuses to say whether their new engine is AC 2 or not. As soon as they do, some bastard’s gonna pop in there and figure out how to permabuff his soup spoon with BD XXVII…
I suppose the one good thing to come out of this is that you can bet there ain’t no Sentinals being blamed for this. Personally, I blame the cows… but that’s a whole ‘nother story…
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