AC Pranks!

Posted August 1st, 2001 under AC1.

Do I really need to state that if you try any of these, we hate you, you’re stupid, we hope you die, don’t try this at home, etc, etc, etc…

Go to an Opera. When the fat lady with the horns and a spear comes out (yes, she’s in EVERY opera), stab her repeatedly. If anyone asks you what you’re doing, tell them you’re pretty sure she pk’d you once.
- When the police show up, ask them who their monarch is.
- Tell them that if they don’t stop messing with you, your monarch will declare their whole guild KOS + L.
- When they finally get you subdued and in a cell, portal recall.
Go buy a car. Write a check out for it in the amount of $1.00. Then cast Hide Value VI on the check. Put on your Leadership VI fez and try to convince them that the check is for the full amount of the car.
Go to the top of the Empire State Building. Bring your Jump VI shoes. Need I say more?
Enroll in a local amateur boxing competition. Bring your UA Mastery VI gauntlets and a Katar.
Road Rage + War Mage = Hours of fun!!!!
Next time you get in an elevator, cast one of them fancy Ring spells (and you thought someone farting in there was bad).
Ash Gromnies in the swimming pool!
Deception Mastery VI before every date.
Go to the park. Look for a mother who’s having a hard time keeping up with her child. Cast Sprint Other VI on the child; Lead Feet VI the mother. Sit back and giggle.
Stop at the bakery; ask them for some stamina pies. If they refuse, they’re obviously PK’s conspiring against you.
Butcher shop. Auroch Steaks. (See above).
Go to the jewelers. Ask to be shown the most expensive jewel they have. Ask them to tell you about it. Right in the middle of their monologue, scream, “BUT DAMMIT, WHAT _SPELLS_ DOES IT HAVE ON IT, MAN?”
- When they fail to answer you appropriately, cast Hide Value VI on the gem. Tell them you think it’s only worth 10 bucks. Dare them to prove differently.
Next time you get a phone call from an annoying telemarketer, scream, “SQUELCH!” and hang up.
Next time your boss annoys you, threaten to break allegiance with them and take all your vassals with you.
At your next guild meeting, tell them the problem (no matter what it is) can be solved by a bake sale.
Get a bunch of silver rats (well, yeah, if you can). Don’t feed them for a while. Release them into an elementary school, nursing home, daycare, etc, etc.
Cast Heartseeker VI, Blooddrinker VI, and Swiftkill VI on the front bumper of your car. If I have to explain more to you, choke yourself.
- For bonus points, cast them on your REAR bumper.
- If you get real tricky, try casting them on one specific tire…
NYC is a PK town, let’s face it. It needs purged…stage raids.
Take a lightning nekode into a mosh pit.
Get a couple of archer friends. Play Robin Hood with armored cars. Give the money to the homeless.
Have a mailman that hates dogs? Try putting a Veteran Reedshark in your front yard. Let him mace THAT.
Get them archers again. Make sure they’ve all got the sweetest bows (110, ridiculous mods, ya know). Put them in leather armor, then go visit one of those dude ranches. Show them what Injuns can do when REALLY motivated…
Get some ornery Veteran Reedsharks (as opposed to those calm, cool and mild-mannered ones…) and go to a fancy restaurant. Declare that land as yours, and the diners are trespassers. Release the hounds.
The next time you are on vacation, don’t forget to portal tie so you can come back as often as you like.
Fun things to do at the Olympics in Sydney.
- Find the archery venue and walk around offering Coordination Other VI and Bow Mastery Other VI to all the athletes.
- Next, go to the high jump at the track and field center and stand next to the runway. As each athelete comes down, hand him a lugian hammer.
- For a perfect end to the trip, sit in the stands at the weightlifting events. Just as they get the barbell over their heads, cast Weakness Other VI on those big oxes.
When you have a particularly tricky tee-shot, cast Blood Drinker VI on your driver. “500 yards? Sounds like a par 3 to me!”
Tie someone to railroad tracks. Dress up like Superman. Cast Str VI, End VI, Quick VI and Coord VI on yourself. Now try and stop the train…
Get a Lugian and his ever-plentiful Basket ‘o Boulders. Hide him behind a Drive-In movie screen. When the movie starts, use your little catapult to give the viewers a real 3-D experience….
Go to Disneyland. Murder the Beast, the whole time screaming something about Tuskers.
When Archery season opens for deer, put on a deerskin outfit, grab your trusty 110 mod BD VI bow and go extract Bambi’s vengeance…
Fort Knox. Lockpick Mastery VI. Peerless Lockpick. Need I say more?
Get a Lugian hammer and your lightning bolt VI wand. Dress up like Thor. Go to a church and declare yourself top deity. Punish unbelievers with lightning bolts. Do lots of smiting with your hammer.
Bring a lich and a group of zombies/undead to the local funeral home. Have the lich complain about the terrible service,while the undead chorus chimes in with “Yeah! Right on!”
Go into the middle of a farmers market (or a stock market, both work as well). In the height of everyone trading, scream out remarks like, “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF SPAMMING CARE-BEAR TRADING GITS! NONE OF YOU WOULD SURVIVE IN MY PK WORLD!!!!”
In the middle of a meeting, say “AFK”. Go limp or just stare off into the distance. (when you start levitating, it’ll REALLY freak ’em out).
Go to a 5 star restaurant. Find the chef. Ask him to prep the lugian sinews/sclavi tongues/dyes that brought with you. If he refuses, he’s obviously a PKer out to get you!
Cast Arcane Enlightenment VI and Focus VI on yourself before taking any tests.
- For fun, cast Arcane Benightedness Other VI and Bafflement VI on your classmates.
- For even MORE fun, cast Arcane Benightedness Other VI and Bafflement VI on your teacher when it’s time to grade them! See how THEY like it!
A large park with lots of people. You and 8 or so Malus Shreth. Mix well!
Go to a home for the Elderly. Cast Strength VI, Endurance VI, Spint Other VI and Quickness VI on all the folks staying there. Cast Weakness VI and Lead Feet VI on the nurses and care takers.
Find a Maximum Security Prison. Offer to administer the death penalty to everyone on Death Row cuz they’re all just a bunch of PK’ers.
Get on a plane. At a nice high altitude, jump out. Enjoy the trip down. Seconds before you hit the ground, Lifestone Recall. Don’t fizzle! (Note: robbing the people on the plane is purely optional)
Get a lot of Chocolate Beans (and a chocolate cook book if you need it) and get a lot of short friends that have orange faces and green hair, you and your friends dress up like Willy Wonka and his army of Oompa-loompas. Cast Cooking Mastery VI on yourself. Take over your nearest chocolate factory and declare yourself cocolate master of the world and if anyone tries to stop you kill them because they are PK’s anyway.
Goto a Bull-Fight.. Cast BD VI HS VI SK VI DEF VI on Bulls horns.. STR VI COORD VI END VI and Piercing Protection VI on Bull.. Cast Imperil VI and Piercing VULN VI on Bull-fighter and laff…
Goto the Running of the bulls and Toss a few Quick VI and Sprint VI on the bulls….. again.. Laff..
Open a diet clinic and cast Willpower Other VI on all customers, become millionaire.
Drag some Tuskers into the Jerry Springer studio. Then join in the “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” chants as the monkeys lay waste to everyone. (*note: If the KKK happens to be on the show that day, bring Umbris shadows instead.)
Go to hottest local nightclub and fizzle-cast dance. Make sure you say the unintellible words too. Watch the chicks flock to you.
Go to fancy resturant. Whenever you take a bite or drink of anything, make sure you stop, stand up and make appropriate sound.
If you see someone having a siezure, go ask them if they are doing the chat boogie.
Go up and down the the neighborhood streets, killing all small mammals you see. Explain that your only level one and thats all you can kill. Never say, “I just like hearing them squeak.”