Let the exploring continue!

Posted April 8th, 2002 under AC1.

Okay, so now I’ve got some free time, and as I’ve stated before, I’m eager to explore some of these dungeons and quests that I never really got to check out before. Well, I’ve been told numerous times that Lillitha’s bow is pretty easy to get.

Now, because I am smart, I do not charge blindly into this dungeon! Ooooooh, no! You foolios might do such foolhardy feats as that, and if it were up to Kwipette, I’m sure we would’ve charged ahead, killing everything in our path. But this was my solo time; I was exploring on my own and had lots of time to plan carefully.

First thing I do is pop over to CoD and make some notes; then of course, I have to check every other site under the sun, because maybe THEY’LL have that information about the secret lever that you throw to get the GSA! Well, hey, you never know… so I hit Maggies, and AC Vault, and Stratics – basically, everything I can find. I start out with the intent to make very careful notes; but everyone’s saying something different, so my notes come out something like:

“Go down. Take left. Jump down. Kill Raider.” etc etc.

But hey, it’s not like this is a huge dungeon or anything, right? I’ll find my way!

So I leap in. And I’m off! First thing I do is follow the tunnel down, then leap over to a catwalk. I follow that a bit, and a zombie and a lich kill me.

Huh?

Going back over my notes, I see that I wrote “do NOT jump on catwalk”. Oh. Right.

So back I go. I decide I should get that body, because it’s got my wand on it, and I’m gonna look pretty silly trying to recall out of this place without it. Silly me; I muled everything I was sure I wouldn’t need, but never considered that I might need another wand.

Here I am again, asking the nice Mr. Lich and Mr. Zombie if they’d mind if I picked up that pesky little wand.

Death says, “and a one, and a two, and a…”

And I died. Apparently, liches and zombies CANNOT be trusted. I make a note of that in my notebook:

“do NOT jump on catwalk. if you do, do not trust lich and zombie as they r sux.”

Now I have two bodies down there. And no wand. And I’m missing my pants.

So now I’m half-nekkid, running around this dungeon. This time, I actually kill the undead goombahs and manage to get my bodies! It was WAAAAAY close, though – I barely survived! I don’t even bother to heal; just grab my loot and run run run! I run back to where the catwalk is, and jump back to the main path.

And I miss the path, and fall.

And die.

Death giggles.

I can reach the next level by standing on my tip-toes, but I fall and DIE from it. Hrmph. I hate my life.

Well, enough of this. I run back into town and recruit some able-bodied adventurers to help me!

You say, “Howdy folks! Anyone wanna come with me to get Lillitha’s Bow?”
Benga says, “lol”
You say, “What’s funny about that?”
Benga says, “that bow sucks”
You say, “No it doesn’t! It may have at one point, but now Lillitha is our Queen! She has left behind only the BEST weapons!”
Benga says, “they bufed lils bow?”
Benga says, “for real?”
You say, “Ummm…yes. Yes they did.”

Well, hey, I needed someone to go with me, and it’s not MY fault he doesn’t keep up to date on these things!

Benga says, “ok, i go with u, but gotta be careful – i’m only lvl 10, so we go slow, ok?”
You say, “Of course! I’m in no rush to die myself!”
Death says, “I beg to differ…”
You say, “Quiet, slut!”
Benga says, “huh?”
You say, “Nothing, I have a cold. Anyway – ready?”
Benga says, “yah, i can lead, i know the way”
You say, “Nothing doing! I have a GREAT map!”

Well, after about half an hour of wandering, it turns out my map was upside down! Silly me. I think Benga started to notice, too…

Benga says, “dude, i tol you this is the wrong way. it’s to the n of her.”
You say, “Who?”
Benga says, “what?”
You say, “To the north of who?”
Benga says, “wtf r u tlaking about?”
You say, “Yellow Rat? Is that you?”
Benga says, “huh?”
You say, “Never mind. I think we need to go North.”
Benga says, “i tole you it was n!”
You say, “Yes, whatever. Stay off the drugs, son.”

And once again we’re off. This time we actually find it! I TOLD him this map was excellent!

You say, “Man, good thing you’ve got me along. You’d probably have been wandering around here for HOURS without MY help!”
Benga says, “dude, shutup”

Hrmph. That’s gratitude for you.
Now we enter the dungeon – there’s that pesky catwalk! I’m not making THAT mistake again!

You say, “Lessee here… according to my map, we have go this way. Jump down there.”
Benga says, “u sure?”
You say, “You doubt me? Philistine!”
Benga says, “huh?”
You say, “Never mind. Just go that way. Now! Go!”
Benga says, “u r wierd”

You don’t know the half of it, my young friend! But follow me he does, and down we go to the lower level.

You say, “Okay, now that way.”
Death says, “My, but this adventure seems pretty tame…*cues spooky foreshadowing music*”
You say, “Would you shut up already?”
Benga says, “what’d i say?”
You say, “Just you keep going there, bucko.”

And so off he goes, straight into a pair of Bandies.

Benga says, “kwip help”
Benga says, “heal plz”
You say, “Wait a sec…I’m POSITIVE there aren’t supposed to be any Bandies here. Excuse me, fellas? I think you’re in the wrong part of the dungeon.”

Of course they don’t answer me. No social graces, those guys. You can see why THEY’RE not going to be allowed into AC2, I tell you. Besides running around nekkid all the time, they’re just rude little buggers.

Benga says, “dude, wtf? i almost died there!!!”
You say, “I know! Isn’t it disgusting how weak newbs are in this game?”
You say, “I’m telling you, if Turbine doesn’t implement my suggestion about starting newbs with GSA and Atlans, I’m quitting.”
Benga says, “next time you better help or i’ll kill you myself.”
You say, “Ack! Pk!”
You beg for mercy.
Benga says, “knock it off. let’s go – which way?”

I consult my trusty map!

You say, “Okay, we have to jump down here again!”
Benga says, “r there mobs?”
You say, “Nope.”

Benga jumps.

You say, “Just that lone Raider.”

But now Benga has already gotten to meet Mr. Raider, and said Raider is pounding the snot out of him rather effectively. I don’t want Benga to die, so I leap to his defense, and in short order, we have defeated this worthy foe.

Benga says, “u r an idiot. i’m done. i want out.”
You say, “But we’re sooooo close!”
Benga says, “i dont care. exit.”
You sigh.
You say, “Fine; that corridor to the east, and then take the north passage.”
Benga says, “u sure?”
You say, “Yes yes yes. I’m positive. Just go on out of here, quitter.”
Benga says, “whatever jerk. u suck.”
You say, “Oh now come on, can’t we still be friends?”
Benga says, “u r on my squelch list.”
You say, “No! What if I have something important to tell you?”