Okay, so I’ve been lax in exploring that Vesayen Island. Truth is, the only island I’ve explored at all has been Dereth. I haven’t checked out ANY of the new islands other than to learn that I tend to die there really quickly. But since I’ve been trying to learn some more to be a better guide to Anson, I’ve been trying to re-fresh my knowledge.
Death says, “Wait a sec – didn’t Anson already pass your level?”
You say, “Shut yer blathering dillhole!”
See, the problem is that I’m still operating on the mentality from like, what, three years ago? Like, release-time? I still have it in my rather foolish mind that 43 is a perfectly respectable level. I constantly get mauled by PKers, but I don’t think that would matter if I was 126th, you know? I’m just NOT good at fighting. I accept that much in the same way that I accept pants go on the OUTSIDE of underwear and being kicked in the groin is a bad thing. It’s not complex, it’s not frustrating, it’s just one of those things.
But I’m not really used to monsters being bad asses. Oh, sure, I know that if I strut on down to an Olthoi Lair and the middle of some monkeys I’m going to be in a world of hurt. BUT – if I’m out running around, I don’t really expect to run into many problems. Especially when nothing hides on the radar anymore!
I think it’s Turbine’s fault, really. Look, if you introduce a new breed of monster like, for example, a new sort of Shallows Shark, then you need to name it according to it’s power level. I mean, “Shallows Slayer” sounds like something pretty scary, right? Like if I was running around, and I saw one, I’d be like – “Hey, watch out, that critter over there might SLAY you!” Pretty logical conclusion, right?
So therefore, at some later date down the road, when I was running around, and I saw something called a “Shallows Devourer,” I think of the garbage disposal critter in the Flintstones – you know, that cute pig thing that lived under their sink and DEVOURED all their trash? Well, let me just tell you, this thing should be named “Shallows DestroyEveryFrigginThingInItsPath.” Because that’s exactly what it did. And guess who was in it’s path?
Hey, I know I’m in trouble if I encounter a bunch of bad-ass monsters. So I usually try and skirt around them. But come on – a shallows shark? How many of them have I killed since I hit 20th level? 10? 20? At least! And it’s not like I run around nekkid – I’ve got a set of LSA, for Gord’s sake! And I cast level 4 buffs on myself! So you’re not talking to Joe Newb here, buddy. I’m a VETERAN. I have single-handedly died to almost every lifeform on the face of Dereth.
When I spot something chasing after me, I can decide within fifteen seconds whether or not I’m going to die. Usually because in fifteen seconds I’m either dead or away from the monster…
So as I run my little scouting mission today, I notice this blip coming after me. I have a look behind me using my uber camera panning skills (yeah, that’s right – I may suck at everything else in this game, but DAMN can I swing that camera around! Mostly it comes from a long existence of “who was that who just shot me?”). What do I see? Some shallows critter! Do I worry? Noooooooooooooooo! I’ve killed plenty of these guys in my time, why should I worry?
Shallows Devourer gores you for 98 points of damage!
Shallows Devourer smites you so hard the lifestone flinches!
Death says, “Woah, hey, that even surprised ME!”
Good gravy! Look, I’m all for putting in new monsters to challenge the people that are getting up in the levels, but how about a better warning system? Like, can’t we strap flashing lights and sirens on them? Or couldn’t they have a little bit better AI – if they KNOW they can kick your butt, can’t we make them giggle and wave at you when you get near? I mean, I tend to run right by Lugians. But if I see one standing there giggling and waving at me, you can bet I’m going to give it a WIIIIIIIIIIIIDE pass.
Especially if it starts blowing kisses. I hate it when the monsters do that.
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